To Be Your Daughter

Daddy…
You finally realized it. Congratulations.
You told me that it was wrong,
That you had more pictures
Of  you and him than me.
But you're still missing the point.
I don't want a picture with you and me.
Because you wont smile. It wont be genuine.
It wont MEAN ANYTHING until you understand.
Daddy…
You have no idea what I've done
To try and make you happy.
You told me you were proud of me ONCE this year
That I remember.
And afterwards, I got into the shower and cried.
You don't know how much you've made me hurt.
I'm not good enough for you
Or mom.
Daddy…
I just don't know what to do.
I feel like I shouldn't be so upset.
There are so many out there whose parents are dead,
Or divorced, or physically abusive.
When mine aren't.
You make me feel WEAK.
Daddy…
Do you remember when
You used to actually smile at me every day?
I was your little girl.
You were the best dad in the world.
And now all I get is a frown and a disappointed glare.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
What more do you want from me?
I'm trying MY BEST. I'm doing WHAT I CAN.
And that's not good enough for you?
Daddy…
Do you not get the fact that I'M AFRAID?
You scare me, dad.
That look you give him…
All the yelling and the screaming.
You told me you would quit.
I've talked to you about it SO MUCH in the past years,
And yet nothing has been done about it.
Daddy…
You don't understand me.
You don't know about what goes on in my life.
I BARELY SEE YOU.
And when I do, you're with him.
He took center stage.
And now you don't want to see me when I'm in the spotlight.
You wont come. You just lay in bed and watch tv.
I came back, and what do I find in your drawer?
Daddy,
I don't know how long they've been there.
But they're almost gone.
And I found them by your bed last night.
You don't know how much you effect me.
I'm not good enough to stay here.
So don't expect me to stick around.
I may have a few years to wait, but I know what I'm going to do.
Don't bother trying to make amends.
I honestly don't care anymore…
Daddy…
You don't know what its like to be your daughter.